Deep Malaise in my Soul

Six hours of corporate diversity training took me to deep anger. Had to sleep on it before I wrote a personal response to the company Chief Diversity Officer. Here’s my bottom line message to her:

“My Bottom-Line analysis of the training is that today’s social justice, anti-racism movements are steeped in Marxist critical theory and aim to redistribute justice to certain societal groups, with no consideration for individuals. As a Retired Army combat soldier and company employee, I found that perspective in the training incredibly oppressive and offensive. I spent too long patrolling the Iron Curtain and in Iraq witnessing true hatred and evil to not be offended by our company’s six hours of D&I oppression.”

Even after carefully describing how I felt oppressed in the training for my world view, that obviously is not my company’s world view, I received back a ‘Bed Bug Letter.’ Look that up at the link for what that means. The Corporate Chief Diversity officer basically said their approach to Diversity was scientific and blah blah blah. Nope. It is bolted to Social Justice in the Marxist Culturalism flavor that anchors to the image of establishing an Oppressor class vs an oppressed class. This defies logic. Here is an example: I recovered from full blown COVID last November and still have antibodies according to my blood test at UC Health. Last month, my vaccine moral exemption request was approved by the company, but I still have to test each week before I go to a company site or Customer site… and wear a mask. Daniel Horowitz‘ column details 15 major medical and lab studies that proved people with Natural immunity are more immune than those with the Jab. Why don’t people with the Jab have to test every week and wear a mask if they don’t have antibodies as strong as mine?

My DOD customer is tossing out superb people in uniform for not getting Jab. Last night, we heard rumor from friends that people who do not get Jab are being given an option for Admin discharge – not honorable and not dishonorable – that removes their VA and other benefits. Also, these Admin released people land in the Brig / MP cell block until paperwork is completed (I have to verify this rumor but my DOD customer is petty and harsh on testing and masking of un-jabbed people.) Frankly, my deeper concern is that if I stay firm with my conscience, including a medical exemption from wearing a mask, this will put my DOD engagements at risk and my company will not stand up for me against Federal / DOD prosecutors already infamous for tossing people out of the military for refusing the Jab.

In this mess of my DOD customer locking down, I detect a deep Malaise and low morale in the Military. If they are tossing people in a brig pending admin discharges, that will deepen it. The Afghanistan F***-Up, disregard of personal rights, poor leadership, Marxist Culturalism and ‘Diversity’ training are all draining the military of the vibrant life my family and I experienced across 20 years on Active Duty in the Army. Napoleon said moral is to the physical as ten to one. In other words, Moral conviction outnumbers physical force every time. Today, moral conviction is being drained from our military and it is only a matter of time before National Security disasters strike our nation.

Thinking on this swirl, Dennis Prager said Thursday night in Denver, “Life without meaning is pointless. If your job or tasks in life don’t have meaning, find something else to do.”

That was a great time with about 60 folks, all of us smoking cigars with Dennis as he spoke. We heard a similar message about meaning in the new Clint Eastwood movie, “Cry Macho” as a man at 91 finds new meaning and moves hard toward it… while mentoring a young man toward his discovery of new meaning. As I look around, the symptoms are there for personal change. I hardly hear the words very smart people are saying on concalls. I step out toward what I thought I was supposed to do for engagements, but the output does not resonate. The IT design and Architecture I once enjoyed working, now leaves just a dry taste in my mouth. As I close in on my 63rd birthday at the end of 20 months of the COVID Scamdemic, I’m wondering if I’m losing my mind.

Dennis Prager said Thursday night that when he was in Grad School at Columbia in the 70s, he contemplated meaning as he wondered why so many brilliant professors could only speak drivel and nonsense. Their drivel did not inform him about meaning in life. His epiphany moment was when God reminded him of the old Hebrew verse from Proverbs in his first-grade classes, “Fear of the Lord is the beginning of Wisdom.” In that moment, I felt Dennis’ insight resonate in my own mind to the droning voices of brilliant people I hear, but content I can’t remember, on various concalls and other company and customer communications. A few people in my professional life fear the Lord, but most others do not speak with His wisdom. Those who are my brothers and sisters in Christ are like a drink of fresh, cold water on a hot day. They have so much wisdom. Most others that I am hearing are brilliant and passionate but they do not fear the Lord, therefore, their words and work do not stick in my mind as it flows in one ear and out the other.

Fearing I was incrementally losing my mind the past 20 months, smoking a cigar with Dennis Prager brought my mind back to clarity. I clearly recall most of what I heard from Dennis Prager Thursday night. I took notes and that led to great discussion with my beautiful bride. I also realized that my work the past 3 months in the Colson Fellowship resonates with truth. THAT content sticks in my mind! This month’s reading assignment in J.I. Packer’s book, ‘Knowing God’ filled my heart. The intense joy of drilling down on teaching my 3rd class this Sunday in my series, ‘The 7 Crises Turnings in Western Civilization,’ clearly comes to mind as I converge Bible, History, and World View. All of these take my mind to levels of intensity and passion I once had for Active Directory, Identity, Cyber Security, and enterprise cloud architectures.

Bottom Line… In my heart and mind, my work at my company increasingly has no meaning. My company is moving far away from my world view that states, “Truth is not a Philosophy, it is a person; Jesus Christ is Truth.” That’s understandable in today’s world spinning into oblivion, but not the reason.

(Rabbit trail thought – In our 4th Industrial Revolution, the Curve of Lethality – the number of men a man can kill in an hour – is vertical into exponential realms. The next war on the scale of World War II is coming and will consume life globally like a cheap commodity. And to think we thought Afghanistan was a royal F***-Up.)

At any rate, it’s the life that my company is draining from my heart with diversity, inclusion, vaccine policy, mask stupidity, social justice, and all the rest. This is breaking my heart because I love working at my company, and once embraced what are now the disappearing visions and dreams to Empower every person on the planet. As that life and passion turns to ashes, What to do? What to change? I have no answer, yet, but I want to have a whole heart, in the Image of God, pressing into the moral against the physical as ten to one as I lead people to the ultimate truth that ‘In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.’

2 thoughts on “Deep Malaise in my Soul”

  1. Jay, indeed, CRT is rooted in Marxist philosophy and is highly divisive as it literally divides the earth into two categories of people: oppressed or an oppressor. It’s classic Marxist NON-sense (lies) and we shouldn’t be surprised that people still fall for that kind of nonsense. Leaders should know better, but they don’t bother to dig deep enough to see that it’s the old garbage wrapped in a new package, and does nothing but perpetuate a victim mindset (something I successfully teach students to ditch, with nothing but thanksgiving from them for learning to change their perspective to that of a creator with their lives). And, what is happening in regards to vaccine mandates is nothing short of outright persecution based in ignorance and nefarious government agendas. That’s why freedom and logic are missing from the mandates. The most vaccinated nation on the earth (percent of population immunized) has also shown that natural immunity is superior to vaccinated immunity, and, they (Israel) give equal status (ie., they all get a “green passport”) to those who have recovered from Covid-19. I don’t believe in any kind of “vaccine” or “immunity” passport, but I do find it interesting that those who have recovered from Covid-19 and are not vaccinated have the same rights and opportunities as those who have been fully vaccinated. In fact, the likelihood of them giving or getting Covid is significantly less than that of those who are vaccinated! Doing the same in the USA would be the right and most logical thing to do, but it doesn’t fit the larger “agenda” of control, so, oh well, the federal, state and local governments turn a blind eye towards science, including suppressing (not acknowledging efficacy of) highly successful treatments that could keep our hospitals nearly empty of Covid-19 patients. That’s blood on their hands. Justice will prevail ultimately, but how many have to die for lack of knowledge the truth?

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